UNDER THE INFLUENCE by Scott Russell Sanders

I like this memoir because it the subject is dark but the content isn't too graphically horrifying making the piece an appropriately sentimental look into the complex emotions of somebody who's loved one has an addiction. Referred to as a disease now, alcoholism affects "In the United States alone... some ten or fifteen million people," and each case is unique. Young Scott's father is the drinker, and when he describes how he sees his father with this problem as "a starving dog gobbling food," it's clear to see that it is painful for him. He details his feelings as he tosses and turns at night "hating him, loving him, fearing, knowing I have failed him." These are the thoughts that children have, they can't understand how their parent could be so weak, so helpless - in this, the child is obligated to feel responsible and comes up with reasons to feel guilty, which Sanders does. He artfully illustrates his father in a way that reads well chosen words and a tone that sets the view point from his ten year old self. The typical scene of his father after a night of heavy drinking is told with verbs that tells the story of young children in the room with a dragon who "bursts, grunts, growls, clashes, prowls, thumps, rummages, slams, and mutters. The only dialogue in this piece is short and seemingly pointless, Scott again has walked in on his father taking a swig of whatever his beverage was, he wasn't disallowed to drink in his own house, let alone by his own son. The moment is ill at ease and leaves the two scrounging to make awkward conversation.